[Review] Sea Tangle Kelp Noodles

Anyone remember those Tofu Shirataki Noodles that Hungry Girl pimps like no tomorrow? They suck. I don’t care how nice the thought is of 100-calorie fettuccine Alfredo — when something tastes like a dead fish and wriggles like an almost-dead one in your guts, it’s not pasta.

So, I was skeptical of these kelp noodles, but for the fact that Gena and Ani Phyo both like them. Then, I got the chance to try them for myself.

The verdict? If you always wanted to like Shirataki noodles but could never abandon your sanity, I totally suggest you give Sea Tangle Kelp Noodles a try.

First, kelp noodles are not Shirataki noodles. While they are both noodley and low in calories (Sea Tangle’s have six calories per serving), kelp noodles are sea vegetables, while Shirataki noodles are made from tofu and yam flour. Basically, Shirataki noodles are nutritionally void beyond a few grams of fiber, while kelp noodles are packed with vitamins and minerals, especially iodine. Btw, iodine’s great for your nails, hair, and thyroid. So seaweed makes you sexy.

But let’s talk taste. Kelp noodles don’t really have any. In the best way possible. Ok, they have a slight salitness, but they don’t taste like nutty nori or baconesque dulse. This lack of taste makes them a great palette for tons of sauces and mix-ins.

Now we get to the interesting part. I love texture. Ever noticed I’m a Ben & Jerry’s whore? It’s all about the variety of textures and mouth-feels. From the pictures, you might think kelp noodles are slimy. Surprise! They’re crunchy. It’s really weird. Not potato chip crunchy–think a little closer to bean sprouts, but not quite. Under heat, they soften to resemble the texture of pasta more.

Because of their neutral taste, kelp noodles have a million creative uses. You could dump marinara on them and call it spaghetti. But I don’t really consider them a substitute for legit pasta. Instead, I think they are awesome for their textural addition to dishes. For example, they are great in salads because they soak up the flavor of the dressing and add some crunch.

Though kelp noodles are raw and vegan, they work in meat dishes. I tossed some leftover spicy lamb meatballs on top, gave it a spin in the microwave, and thought it was a really interesting contrast.

Salad with leftover Spicy Lamb Meatballs, roasted potatoes, and Sea Tangle Kelp Noodles

I also mixed them with zucchini noodles for my own take on Ani Phyo’s Pad Thai. I liked the result…but then I got a stomach virus that week and couldn’t bring myself to look at anything with more substance than frozen yogurt. So no pics of the rest of it .

Because I claim disability during the time of testing, here are a few pictures I scrounged up on the web of people getting their kelp on:

If you do try out kelp noodles, I highly recommend you check them out for more than their low calories. They are a really interesting, very healthy addition to many potential dishes.